6 Golden Rules - Advice From Top Agents and Editors in the Publishing Industry - What Publishers Say About Your First Page Behind Closed Doors

DREAM TEAM:  Nick Healy, Caryn Wiseman, Andrea Brown, Jennifer Mattson, Melissa Manlove

Writers want to know the secret sauce that makes editors, agents and readers turn a first page in a book. Some say authors must get the inciting incident on page one. 

Screenwriting books advise the inciting incident should land on page ten (or for books, the first 10% of a novel). Wendy Loggia of Delacorte Press/Random House once told me it’s hard to care about an inciting incident until we care about the character. She went on to say that many writers want to get to the good stuff first, but it all has to be good.

To further understand the art of the first page, I asked Andrea Brown, president of the

Andrea Brown Literary Agency (ABLA), to host a panel session during the Big Sur in the Rockies writing workshop held in Boulder, Colorado. On a rainy Saturday afternoon, participants submitted the first page of their work-in-progress and gathered to hear feedback from a dream-team of publishing professionals—Melissa Manlove from Chronicle  Books, Nick Healy from Capstone Publishing, and three ABLA agents: Andrea Brown, Caryn Wiseman and Jennifer Mattson.  The panel provided insight on what works and what doesn’t on the first page of manuscripts, everything from picture books to YA novels. 

Here’s what I heard:

1.  Don’t rob readers of experiencing the emotional state of the character. This is another reason agents and editors (and readers) want you to SHOW DON’T TELL. For example, writers should not write George was upset about his report card—that TELLS the emotional state. Write something along the lines of George wadded up his report card and shoved it to the bottom of his backpack. 

2.  Picture Book Writers—WATCH OUT for subjective-clause filled sentence structure. Instead, choose an appropriate sentence structure for your audience. Let sentences end so readers land on an idea. Simplify your language and let the art carry a good portion of the story's weight. (And on a sidenote, it’s a good idea to keep emotional conflict out of bedtime stories).

3.  All Manuscripts—

·        Avoid over choreography.

·        Read your pages out loud and listen for repeating words or repeating a character’s name—fix if you’re over using it and it doesn't sound natural.

·        Choose active verbs. Instead of using “to be” verbs, choose verbs powerful enough to eliminate adjective and adverbs.

·        Remember that books set in the 1980’s and 90's are now considered historical fiction.

·        Don’t lead with generic circumstances that stay generic, stay away from common storylines and add something fresh and original.

·        Don’t write a book with didactic intentions and please don’t write with a didactic tone; kids will see right through this. “We don’t go to stories for lessons,” says Melissa Manlove  (though please see Melissa’s additional feedback listed at the end of this article).

·        Be careful so that you’re not long and heavy on details. Readers don’t want to wade through the mundane to get to the good.

·        “Many editors dislike prologues and we want you to be as rejection-proof as possible so don’t use them unless you really must.” Andrea Brown

·        Some panel members are not fans of mixing anthropomorphized animals with talking humans. That’s not a rule, just a note of preferences when querying this panel.

·        The Picture Book industry is currently hot on having character-driven picture books, but characters still needs to have a motivation.   

·       

4.  Using illustration notes in picture books. Please know this varies between editors (for example, never (never ever) send an illustration note to Beach Lane Books). Per the members on this panel, illustration notes are fine, but only if it is necessary for the editor or agent to get an inside joke or a something that is not relayed in the words. Do not use illustration notes to describe your character or provide unnecessary art direction.

5.  Writing in Rhyme. If you are writing in rhyme, please take a look at any book that’s won a Geisel Award (p.s. fun fact—Andrea Brown worked with Theodore Geisel long ago!).

I’ve attended dozens upon dozens of conferences, and though many agents and editors say they don’t like rhyme, many also say it’s because they don’t like bad and forced rhyme. Furthermore, if a story rhymes in English, that doesn’t mean it’s going to rhyme in French or Spanish, so rhyming books are difficult to sell beyond the U.S.  

6.  Author/Illustrators—if you work as both an author and illustrator, you should submit a sketch dummy for your full picture book along with only a couple of pieces of finished art.

**Post workshop Melissa and I chatted, and she states there’s another side to this list of advice. To learn more, I suggest you read her interview titled “Noir and Horror for your Kindergartner” by Maggie Tokuda-Hall posted on the Boing Boing blog 

The Great Hibernation by Tara Dairman

Author Tara Dairman (All Four Stars series) has another great book coming out this fall. 
In The Great Hibernation, (Wendy Lamb Books/Random House Kids, September 12, 2017) all the parents and teens in the town of St. Polonius fall fast asleep in a mysterious state of hibernation, and science-minded Jean Huddy can’t help but wonder if there’s a strange illness…or worse, a curse—a curse that Jean has brought upon the town.

With parents and teens out for the count, Magnus, the son of the Mayor, proclaims the town charter requires the children of St. Polonius must take over their parents’ jobs, especially since St. Polonius is remotely located on a fjord and a blizzard has hit thereby preventing access to help. Naturally, the twelve and under crowd step up and start running things.

Almost everyone is excited: The daughter of the librarian wants to throw out the Dewey Decimal system and file books by color; Axel Gorson, who is only eight, now drives the snowplow; and six-year-old Annemarie Hammerstein (the daughter of the local doctor) starts practicing stitches on her dollies! But it’s not all fun and games, because Magnus the Mayor is ready to run things with a Mafia-esque iron fist.

Jean, her brother Micah, and a sheep named Rambo lead this story in adventure and hilarity, but also woven in are a handful of beautiful yet subtle devices in which this story deals with cultural differences and prejudices. For example, after a horrible kitchen incident where Jean doesn’t know what to do or how to act, Isara, the now proprietor of the restaurant whose family moved to St. Polonius from Thailand, comes to rescue. He offers a kind hand and says he knows what it’s like to, “be in a place where nothing makes sense. Were you don't know the rules. Sometimes, you need someone to show you the way.”

The Great Hibernation delivers page-turning doses of intrigue, adventure, and humor with one fun-filled complication after another, a truly can’t-put-downable book!

Buying Links listed alphabetically:

Amazon  

BookBar (a beautiful independent bookstore)

Second Star to the Right (a beautiful independent bookstore)

Boulder Book Store (signing event at this bookstore in September!) 

Barnes and Noble

The Great Hibernation fall book tour

Books of Wonder – New York, NY
Sunday, September 17, 1 pm
Middle-grade panel and launch party! (with Jessica Lawson, Tracey Baptiste,  & Allison Cherry)

The Voracious Reader  – Larchmont, NY
Monday, September 18, evening (time TBA)
Science & magic! A middle grade event with Sarah Albee, & Corey Ann Haydu

Trident Booksellers & Cafe – Boston, MA
Tuesday, September 19, 6:30 pm
Super middle-grade panel! (with Debbi Michiko Florence, Ammi-Joan Paquette, Jen Malone, & Katie Slivensky, moderated by Dana Alison Levy)

One More Page Books – Arlington, VA
Saturday, September 23, 3pm
Kidlit panel! (with Tracey Baptiste, Caroline Carlson, & Jessica Lawson, moderated by Madelyn Rosenberg)

Boulder Book Store – Boulder, CO
Tuesday, September 26, 6:30 pm
Middle-grade book launch party! (with Jeannie Mobley & Melanie Crowder)

BookPeople – Austin, TX
Sunday, October 8, 2 pm
A Triple Launch Party! (with Christina Soontornvat & Jeannie Mobley)

Author:	Tara Dairman
Publisher:	Wendy Lamb Books / Random House Childrens Books
Date Published:	September 12, 2017
Street Date:	September 12, 2017
Format:	Hardcover
Length:	272 pages
Language:	English
ISBN:	1524717851 / 9781524717858
Categories:	Kids & Teens / Fiction & Literature / Family & Social Issues / General
	Kids & Teens / Fiction & Literature / Health / Illness & Injuries
	Kids & Teens / Fiction & Literature / Family & Social Issues / Friendship
Audience:	Children's - Grade 4-6, Age 9-11

How one Lucky Illustrator can Receive a Mentorship from Giuseppe Castellano-Art Director Penguin Random House #KidLitForHaiti

KID LIT FOR HAITI:  GiuseppeCastellano is offering an illustrator mini-mentorship in which he will work with an illustrator to bring one illustration from sketch to final--offering in-depth critiques at each stage (via email or on-line face-to-face platform).

Giuseppe Castellano is an award-winning designer, illustrator, and Art Director at Penguin Random House with over 14 years of experience in book publishing. He oversees the imprints of Grosset & Dunlap, Price Stern Sloan, Frederick Warne & Co., the Penguin Young Readers and Cartoon Network Books. Read more from Giuseppe, including his popular #arttips series for illustrators, on Twitter: @pinocastellano.

This PARTICULAR auction item : is for a an illustrator mini-mentorship in which Giuseppe Castellano will work with an illustrator to bring one illustration from sketch to final--offering in-depth critiques at each stage (via email or on-line face-to-face platform).

How do I bid?

Place your bid in the comment section by increasing the previous bid by a minimum of $10 increments. Please include information about how I may contact you if you are the winning bidder; I can be reached for questions in the comment section here or at  ktomsic@gmail.com . 

Want to receive notification?
In the left corner of this blog you can get an email subscription on new blog posts and new auction items. You'll only receive an email when something new is posted. 

When does this auction close?This auction item is now closed. Thank you!

**This Auction will close on December 15, 2014** at 11:59 PM mountain time = 10:59 PM Pacific Time= 12:59am next day Central Time=1:59am next day Eastern Time

What are other items on the Kid Lit for Hait (#KidLitForHaiti) Auction?

To Visit a full list of all the auction items featured on Kid Lit for Haiti: PLEASE CLICK HERE

What happens if I win?

I will contact the winning bidder (remember to provide your contact information!). You will make your donation at this donation link and then you will email a copy of your receipt to me at ktomsic@gmail.com

I will then put Giuseppe Castellano in contact with you so the magic can begin. 

***P.S. Don't want to be outbid? The best way to keep up with this auction is by subscribing to this blog and choosing to get notification when comments are posted***

Review and Interview with Matt de la Peña, author of WE WERE HERE

In author Matt de la Peña's young adult book, WE WERE HERE, three troubled teens believe their crimes and the cost of their damage leave them with nothing left to lose. The boys, Miguel, Rondell and Mong, begin their relationship with spit and fists flying. But somehow this group of teens form an unlikely team and escape their group home to make a daring dash to Mexico. Along their journey of pain, humor, rejection, adventure, love and brutality they find friendship as well as some redeeming value in life.

WE WERE HERE is packed with crazy violence combined with deep and often bizarre conversations and circumstances. It reminded me of a YA version of the movie Pulp Fiction, both disturbing and hilarious. I laughed, I cried, I Googled the author. I had to know more. This book had such a hold on me after I read the last page that I was reluctant to open my next novel, because I knew that would mean the experience I just invested my heart in with Miguel, Rondell, and Mong would fade.

Here's what I learned. WE WERE HERE won the following awards:

*A Junior Library Guild Selection
*ALA/YALSA Best Book for Young Adults*ALA/YALSA Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers
*2011/2012 Texas TAYSHAS Reading List

After googling, I tweeted:

@bkshelfdetectivKim Tomsic

@mattdelapena I had to Google you to see if WE WERE HERE had been nominated for the Printz...it's really amazing!

the reply that came only made me more curious:

@mattdelapenaMatt de la Pena

@bkshelfdetectiv Thank you so much. That was a special book for me! Thanks for reading!

So of course I requested a brief interview. Matt graciously agreed.

The Interview:

Kim: Hi, Matt! Thank you so much for agreeing to a brief interview. I was moved by your book WE WERE HERE, so much that when I read the final page, I wanted more and immediately turned to Google for answers. As you know, I sent a tweet to you, singing your praises and wondering if WE WERE HERE had been nominated for the Printz. In your reply you indicated that this “was a special book for you.” Of course that piqued my interest, but I didn’t want a Twitter answer of 140 characters or less, so please give me the Oprah interview answer and tell me why. What made this a special book for you?

Matt: First of all, thank so much for reading the book. I’m so happy you liked it. WE WERE HERE was special because the voice came so naturally. It was the first novel I wrote in first person, and I really kind of locked in with Miguel right away. I feel like I could’ve written that voice for a long time – I guess that’s why so many authors write series. Also, Miguel’s crime was something inspired by one of my basketball teammates in college. It was such an awful crime, yet the guy was a genuinely good guy. I wanted to explore that complexity, as well as the concept of survivor’s guilt. It kind of breaks my heart just thinking about it. And if something breaks my heart (I was raised as a tough, machismo dude) I know it’s a good place to start a book.

Kim: Your characters Miguel, Rondell and Mong truly came to life. I feel like I know these boys…I went to school with them, I’ve seen them at the beach, I’ve passed them on the street. How did they get inside your head and how did you get in the mind of a Juvi? Please tell me more about your research.

Matt: Miguel was the easiest. He sounds a little like I did when I was younger. Rondell ended up resembling a troubled teammate I had, but he was originally inspired by Lenny from OF MICE AND MEN. In fact the Miguel/Rondell relationship is sort of my new-ish, urban version of the George/Lenny relationship. At least that’s how it started. In terms of research, I worked in a group home in San Jose for two years when I graduated college. It was a really rough job. But one of my biggest takeaways was: many of these kids are not what their file says they are. Not exactly.

Kim:  My next question is based on playing make-believe. Let’s pretend this book is non-fiction and Miguel, Rondell, and Mong exist as real teens; if you had the power to help one, to change only one of their lives, who would you help, how, and why that guy?

Matt: Hmmm, maybe Mong wants to do what he does. He seems dead set on it actually. I feel like he’s already there in his mind. And that’s hard to flip. I believe Miguel will be able to take care of himself. I’d just tell him to watch out for girls he meets on little league fields. But Rondell. I’d help him. Because he’s got a great heart and he’s soulful and loyal and talented. But he’s never had a chance. He’s never been exposed to basic education. I would teach him to read and blow his mind with the possibilities that exist for him.

Kim: The fight scenes in WE WERE HERE are pretty intense, graphic, and perfectly messed up (I know Miguel would choose different descriptors, but since this is a PG blog, just go with it). Were you a scrapper or a writer growing up? Please paint a picture of your high school self?

Matt: I’ve been in four fights in my entire life. I’m 2-2. I’ll never fight again because I don’t want to drop below .500. I was a baller who didn’t find books until college. I knew the only way I was gonna get to college was on a hoop scholarship so I gave everything to that pursuit. Wrote secret poetry. Never went to parties. Had two cool girlfriends in HS, really nice girls who believed I could make it. Luckily I did. In college I felt like I woke up and discovered literature and discovered psychology and discovered myself.

Kim: WE WERE HERE was an incredible reading experience—there was tension on every page, the adventure was riveting, my laughter and tears flowed freely, but the most captivating element was Miguel’s dynamic voice. It had a pulse. An NPR program I'd once heard featured a radio announcer who read single lines from various unidentified authors’ work. Even though no additional information was provided, some voices were so strong that the listener could guess who the character was simply based on that one line. Miguel’s voice was that solid. Enough gushing…my question: With your experience as a creative writing teacher at NYU, do you believe writers can learn “voice” or do you believe it’s one of those things—you either have it, or you don’t (and please, no teacher-y answers saying, “everybody is special”)? What steps can a writer take to gain an authentic voice? 

Matt: Great question. Look, there are some writers out there who are brilliant and hilarious and when inspiration hits they can sit down and produce something amazing. I’ve met some here in NY. But I’m not one of them. I’m a working class writer. I clock in early every day and stay late. I revised my first book over a hundred times. Plus my books are all about rhythm. And it takes a lot of tinkering to find the right balance.

I’m not answering the question am I? No. Okay, here’s what I think. This idea that some people were born to be writers is false. I don’t buy it. There are, however, some people who are born with a slightly different way of seeing the world. And if these people are willing to work hard, they’re going to have an easier time locking in on a unique voice. In terms of writing courses, I think you can learn about 90% of the tools you’ll need in your writer’s toolbox. That other 10% is the magical stuff that I don’t even know how to talk about. Voice sometimes slips into that part.

Oh, and I think voice is WAY easier if you’re 100% honest.

Kim: Who is Spencer Figueroa other than the dude to whom you dedicated the book?

Spence is this punk-ass dude living in LA. He’s been my best friend since high school. He put up with a lot hanging out with me back when I refused to work full time and swore I was gonna make it as a writer and bartered with him to pay lower rent.

Kim: I see your agent, Steven Malk from Writers House, will be at the SCBWI’s 40^th anniversary Summer Conference and teaching a break-out session “No Holds Barred: An Agent and an Author Give Outspoken Advice on Writing, Submitting, Promoting and Everything in Between”. Will you be at the SCBWI Summer Conference and if you were teaching this class with Steven Malk, what key pieces of advice would you give?

Matt: Sign with Steve Malk. He’s seriously the best move I’ve ever made in publishing. Also, be 100% honest when you sit down to write. Don’t fake it. Don’t chase trends. Be real. If it hurts, it’s gold. If it embarrasses you, it has to go in. If it shames you, it’s the most important ingredient.

Kim: One of the “Events” listed on your webpage includes a September speaking engagement at the detention facility in San Mateo, East Palo Alto, a high school, boys’camp in La Honda. I don’t have the goods to earn a seat in that gym, but if I did, what would I hear?

Matt: I do a lot of these. And I always tell them the truth. I was a reluctant reader when I was their age. I was a punk who got in trouble. I chased girls. The only reason I got to college was because I had a goal and my goal kept me moving forward. Oh, and I’ll be completely honest with them.

Kim:  Last but not least, who would win my fictional b-ball game: the real-life today, 2011 retired Charles Barkley pitted against the back-in-the day, University of the Pacific Matt de la Peña?

Matt: My college coach called me Matt No D la Peña. I wasn’t a big fan of playing D. So maybe it’d be tough to stop the big guy. But if I got the rock I’d do my best to keep it. And I could shoot it pretty good!

Bonus Bonus Bonus...Matt's answers were fun and insightful. I would have loved to have asked a million more questions, but here's a bonus free throw:  Matt mentioned that he revised his first book over a hundred times. That book called BALL DON'T LIE was made into a movie with director Brin Hill. Brin Hill and Matt de la Pena wrote the screenplay together (release date September 2011). The all-star cast includes Ludacris, Nick Cannon, Rosanna Arquette, and Grayson Boucher.

EASY BOOK BUYING LINKS
Bookstores:
Boulder Bookstore
Tattered Cover
White Rabbit Bookstore
Amazon
Indie Bound
The Strand
Barnes and Noble

Book Review: As If 12 3/4 Isn't Bad Enough, My Mother Is Running for President

The word, H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S.
As If 12 3/4 Isn't Bad Enough, My Mother Is Running for President (Delacorte Press/Random House Children's Books 2008) by Donna Gephart is about seventh-grade Vanessa Rothrock who has a few wishes in life:
5. win the spelling bee;
4. discover her secret admirerer's identity;
3. receive a gift (the gift!) from the boob fairy;
2. snag another wink and phone call from Reginald;
1. keep Mom safe and out of the election.

It's easy to see why As If 12 3/4 Isn't Bad Enough, My Mother Is Running for President won the 2009 Sid Fleishman Award presented at the SCBWI's national convention. The Sid Fleishman is the prestigious award granted to honor an author "whose work exemplifies the excellence of writing in the genre of humor." Translation: the book is snort-out-loud funny.

As If 12 3/4 Isn't Bad Enough, My Mother Is Running for President

5 out of 5 lollipops

ISBN-10: 0440422116

ISBN-13: 978-0440422112

Hard cover list price $11.99/ Kindle $7.99

Rating 5 out of 5 lollipops!

Book Jacket: "As if being 12 3/4 isn’t bad enough, Vanessa Rothrock’s mother is running for president and it’s ruining her life. Isn’t it enough that her enormous feet trip her up all the time, even on stage during the school spelling bee? Isn’t it enough that Reginald Trumball, love of Vanessa’s pathetic life, read her personal and private list of deficiencies to some boy she doesn’t even know? And that the Boob Fairy hasn’t visited her even once?! Doesn’t Mom realize that Vanessa needs her more than the rest of the country? More importantly, doesn’t she realize that she may be in grave danger? Vanessa's receiving threatening notes at school–notes that imply some psycho has it out for her mother at the Democratic National Convention. Vanessa might be the only person who can save her. But does she have the courage to do what that requires?"