There's No Place Like Gnome

I went to the mall yesterday and sure as sherbet, they were already piping in the Christmas tunes.  My blood pressure climbed as I worried about what to purchase for my sister and her husband (they've already purchased Segways; if that doesn't say it all, I'll provide a TRANSLATION-they have everything found in a mall including the mall cop's transportation). More worries...what to buy for  Dad...another grilling gift? And what am I going to buy to bring to my crazy white-elephant-party? 
Instead of taking a dose of Caduet, I lowered my blood pressure (and please check with your doctor to determine if this is the proper course for you) by reading a review of Chuck Sambuchino's book How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will).   It was the perfect answer to my gift giving concerns.

Preparation is the key to success.  How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only manual of its kind and your loved ones (especially those who have everything) will appreciate this hilarious book at Christmas (or sooner!).