6 Golden Rules - Advice From Top Agents and Editors in the Publishing Industry - What Publishers Say About Your First Page Behind Closed Doors

DREAM TEAM:  Nick Healy, Caryn Wiseman, Andrea Brown, Jennifer Mattson, Melissa Manlove

Writers want to know the secret sauce that makes editors, agents and readers turn a first page in a book. Some say authors must get the inciting incident on page one. 

Screenwriting books advise the inciting incident should land on page ten (or for books, the first 10% of a novel). Wendy Loggia of Delacorte Press/Random House once told me it’s hard to care about an inciting incident until we care about the character. She went on to say that many writers want to get to the good stuff first, but it all has to be good.

To further understand the art of the first page, I asked Andrea Brown, president of the

Andrea Brown Literary Agency (ABLA), to host a panel session during the Big Sur in the Rockies writing workshop held in Boulder, Colorado. On a rainy Saturday afternoon, participants submitted the first page of their work-in-progress and gathered to hear feedback from a dream-team of publishing professionals—Melissa Manlove from Chronicle  Books, Nick Healy from Capstone Publishing, and three ABLA agents: Andrea Brown, Caryn Wiseman and Jennifer Mattson.  The panel provided insight on what works and what doesn’t on the first page of manuscripts, everything from picture books to YA novels. 

Here’s what I heard:

1.  Don’t rob readers of experiencing the emotional state of the character. This is another reason agents and editors (and readers) want you to SHOW DON’T TELL. For example, writers should not write George was upset about his report card—that TELLS the emotional state. Write something along the lines of George wadded up his report card and shoved it to the bottom of his backpack. 

2.  Picture Book Writers—WATCH OUT for subjective-clause filled sentence structure. Instead, choose an appropriate sentence structure for your audience. Let sentences end so readers land on an idea. Simplify your language and let the art carry a good portion of the story's weight. (And on a sidenote, it’s a good idea to keep emotional conflict out of bedtime stories).

3.  All Manuscripts—

·        Avoid over choreography.

·        Read your pages out loud and listen for repeating words or repeating a character’s name—fix if you’re over using it and it doesn't sound natural.

·        Choose active verbs. Instead of using “to be” verbs, choose verbs powerful enough to eliminate adjective and adverbs.

·        Remember that books set in the 1980’s and 90's are now considered historical fiction.

·        Don’t lead with generic circumstances that stay generic, stay away from common storylines and add something fresh and original.

·        Don’t write a book with didactic intentions and please don’t write with a didactic tone; kids will see right through this. “We don’t go to stories for lessons,” says Melissa Manlove  (though please see Melissa’s additional feedback listed at the end of this article).

·        Be careful so that you’re not long and heavy on details. Readers don’t want to wade through the mundane to get to the good.

·        “Many editors dislike prologues and we want you to be as rejection-proof as possible so don’t use them unless you really must.” Andrea Brown

·        Some panel members are not fans of mixing anthropomorphized animals with talking humans. That’s not a rule, just a note of preferences when querying this panel.

·        The Picture Book industry is currently hot on having character-driven picture books, but characters still needs to have a motivation.   

·       

4.  Using illustration notes in picture books. Please know this varies between editors (for example, never (never ever) send an illustration note to Beach Lane Books). Per the members on this panel, illustration notes are fine, but only if it is necessary for the editor or agent to get an inside joke or a something that is not relayed in the words. Do not use illustration notes to describe your character or provide unnecessary art direction.

5.  Writing in Rhyme. If you are writing in rhyme, please take a look at any book that’s won a Geisel Award (p.s. fun fact—Andrea Brown worked with Theodore Geisel long ago!).

I’ve attended dozens upon dozens of conferences, and though many agents and editors say they don’t like rhyme, many also say it’s because they don’t like bad and forced rhyme. Furthermore, if a story rhymes in English, that doesn’t mean it’s going to rhyme in French or Spanish, so rhyming books are difficult to sell beyond the U.S.  

6.  Author/Illustrators—if you work as both an author and illustrator, you should submit a sketch dummy for your full picture book along with only a couple of pieces of finished art.

**Post workshop Melissa and I chatted, and she states there’s another side to this list of advice. To learn more, I suggest you read her interview titled “Noir and Horror for your Kindergartner” by Maggie Tokuda-Hall posted on the Boing Boing blog 

10 Tricks to Revise your Writing and Make Your Manuscript Sing

Top Ten Tricks to Revise your Writing and Make your Manuscript Sing©

By Kim Tomsic

I recently met with a group of children’s book writers for a brain-storming session on revision techniques. Here’s what we came up with:

1.      Choose strong verbs to make your sentences active NOT passive.

2.      Use consonants to nail humor. Comedy writers say consonants are funnier than vowels, so revise word choice where needed. For example, corndog is funnier than ice cream, upchuck is funnier than vomit.

3.      Watch out for using “STARTS”. Avoid having your character “start” or “begin” something. Don’t have him start walking down the street or begin making dinner. Think like Nike™—just do it!  The exception: “Started” works when the character begins to do something, but then stops, i.e. “I started to close the door, but the stranger caught it with his foot.”

4.     

Showing makes us feel closer to the protagonist. Duh! As writers, we’ve heard this a gazillion times—show don’t tell. And sure, there are moments to tell, but if you want your reader walking shoulder-to-

shoulder with your protagonist, showing is a smart way to put the reader in the protagonist's shoes. We all know that, yet we still make the mistake of too much telling. Not to worry, that’s what revisions are for! When editing your manuscript, weigh every sentence in your story. Does it show or does it tell? I have an amazing example borrowed from Matt de la Peña’s book, We Were Here. In the book, the main character is smack in the middle of a first kiss. Instead of giving the reader a “tell” line like, “I was nervous” or “I felt awkward” the author shows how the character felt by writing:

 

On the outside I tried to make like everything was super smooth and calm and my palms were dry as hell, but inside my mind was thinking all kinds of crazy thoughts like: How long do I keep my mouth open? And when do I turn my face? And how much tongue do I use? And where do I put my hands? And how are we supposed to breathe?(255).

 

5.      Listen to the voice. Ask yourself if each line meets the voice you intend to convey. Read it aloud and think of your audience. If you get bored with the sound of your prose, your audience will grow bored, too. Next, have somebody else read your story aloud and listen to the words with fresh ears (especially picture book writers). You may hear the reader emphasize words you did not intend to highlight, or you may hear the story exactly as you anticipated.

6.      DO THE EXTRA WORK. If you know your writing weaknesses, search your manuscript for those problem areas. Read books in your genre. Use tools—author John McPhee advises writers to skip the thesaurus and use the dictionary when looking for better words. He says the dictionary gives the subtle nuances around the meaning of words and can inspire better choices. I say use both! 

7.      Keep a rules book, especially if your story has magic. And let your readers in on the rules, so they

understand the stakes. Also make a timeline for your story to keep things in sync. I remember one author saying his copy editor found he had eight weeks in his October!

8.      Make a check list to see if your story contains satisfying plot elements.

¨   Does your character have a want (and does reader want to root for MC)?

¨  Do you have a flawed protagonist? I hope so! Nobody wants to root for a perfect character.

¨   Is there an inciting incident?

¨   Does your story have real stakes and tension?

¨   Does your main character (m.c.) make things happen, instead of having a bunch of things happen to him?

¨   Do you have a compelling antagonist vs. a gratuitous antagonist?

¨   Do you have interesting subplots?

¨   Does your protagonist make a big decisions that propels them through a couple of “doorways” ? A doorway, in my eyes, is a point of no return—imagine toothpaste squeezing out of a tube, once you squeeze it out, you can’t put it back in. Some giant examples include: killing someone, announcing a classmate's secret over the school’s loudspeakers, burning down a building…those are all things you can’t undo…you can’t unkill (in most books), you can’t untell, you can’t unburn. **Please note—the doorways are the most compelling when your main character makes a decision, NOT when something happens to them. However, sometimes a protagonist is thrust into Act II. But from that point forward, make sure they drive the plot movement.

¨ Do you have "But" or "Therefore" action between story beats (you should!) rather than "and then this happens...and then this happens." Want to know more? Check out this video at NYU with the makers of South Park.

¨  Do you have a second doorway that leads into Act III? I hope so!

¨   Do you have a black moment when your main character almost gives up or feels at his low?

¨   Do you have a showdown moment and/or a climax?

¨   Does your main character change by the end of the story?

¨   Did you tie up loose ends?

9.       JOIN A CRITIQUING GROUP. Get involved in a critiquing group and listen to at least some of the advice. Be a good receiver and a good reviewer. We get so close to our work, it's hard to hear it clearly after a while. The more you critique somebody's work, the more you're able to see the flaws that need fixing in your own manuscript.

10.  10. Add tools (craft books) to your toolbox: 

The Emotional Thesaurus

Spunk and Bite

Rivit Your Reader with Deep Pointof View

Save the Cat

WORKING WITH ME: I'd love to speak at your workshop, conference, or school! Contact me here.

Fast-Paced Plotting as seen by Nancy Drew and Chris Eboch

A standing-room-only break-out sessions at the SCBWI Conference was a class taught by Chris Eboch .

What I learned from Nancy Drew-Tool for Fast-Paced Plotting was the title Chris Eboch gave her presentation.

Literally, all the fire codes were violated as the Hyatt salon was packed with standing room only participants. Here are a few precious notes on what Chris had to say:

BEGINNING

1. You are setting expectations and making the reader a promise in the first chapter…a promise you better fill. If your tone is crazy-scary in the first chapter, you better deliver crazy-scary. If your characters are super snarky in the beginning, they better not end up vanilla throughout the rest of the book.

2. Your first chapter also sets the genre, setting, problem, tone, and a sense of the structure and pacing.

HOW TO CREATE A FAST START

1. Fast starts are openings that start with action; they start with what happened and then work in the back story. Note how this is different from starting with back story and then working up to the action.

2. Ms. Eboch says that fast starts usually start with two people on the page and has scene+action+dialogue. She advises to use description and summary modestly if you want to achieve a fast start.

3. Ms. Eboch also advises to start with a cliffhanger (something big is around the corner) and in the middle of the fight or the conflict. She says, “the inciting incident-the problem that gets the story going-should happen as soon as possible , but not until the moment is ripe.”

For more on Chris Eboch’s guide to writers and fast paced plotting, you can visit her at http://www.chriseboch.com/