53 Sure-Fire Ways to Make Your Picture Book Manuscript Ready for Submission: The Ultimate Editing and Revising Checklist!

53 Tricks to Make Sure Your Picture Book is Submission Ready: Kim's Editing and Revising Checklist™

By Kim Tomsic

Huzzah! You've written a picture book, you've worked with a critique group, and now you're wondering if it's ready to submit. Work through this checklist. Revise and edit if necessary. Then bring this checklist to your next critique meeting, so they can help you see the cleanest answer to each of the following: 

Is My Picture Book Ready? Final Checklist:

☐Did you keep your story’s theme/ “aboutness” present and alive in the beginning, middle, and end? Name what your story is about________________________

☐If you are writing about a character, do you have reasons for readers to identify with the character (will readers root for this character because of sympathy, empathy, likability, competency, super-power quality)?

☐Is this story for a child?

☐ Is there a placeholder for the child’s emotions?

☐Is there a hook and is the hook compelling (this applies to both journey stories and concept books – remember a concept book is an “early learning concept” like the alphabet, shapes, colors, numbers, seasons, days of the week, etc.)?

☐ Is there a reason for the reader to become invested during early pages?

☐ If your story has a character, is the reader able to track the character’s emotions/how the character feels during the story?

☐If you are writing a hero’s journey, do you have a clear reason why TODAY is the day that sends the hero on the journey? Why must the story question or story problem be answered TODAY of all days? _________________________________ If you can’t answer this, your readers might ask, “So what? Why does any of this matter right now? Why not just do it another day?”

☐Is there a clear goal?

☐Are there meaningful stakes (what is at risk or what happens if the protagonist doesn’t achieve their goal)?

☐Is there room for a ticking timeclock in your story; and if so, have you used it to the best of your abilities?

☐Are you bringing a new and vibrant angle to a story that has been told before? If you are

creating a concept book or journey, what fresh and new ways are you adding to the conversation? ______________________________________

☐If you are creating a concept book or a journey, is there a piece of YOU that you can uniquely bring to this story?

☐(Journey and Concept) Does this story have BOTH meaning and music (a captivating, meaningful story told with fresh and delightful words) such that the reader wants to open this book a second, third, and fourth time?

☐Do the verbs in your story match the vibes you are trying to create (if not, upgrade those verbs)?

☐ Is your story a piece of theater that the reader can perform for the child? Does your story have performance quality for the read aloud (e.g., pace + important page turn moments matched with gorgeous language or funny language or rhythmic or musical language or onomatopoeia or something else)?

☐Do you have rising action and/or rising tension or an escalation?

☐Did you reach a clear midpoint in the story and at the right pace?

☐Did you delete all darlings?  “Darling” words/lines or “darling” characters are ones that if deleted, nothing about the story would change. *Note – a darling might be something taking up too much real estate in your story without contributing as a “foil” or to the aboutness, story beat, emotional state, character reveal and reason to root, stakes, goal, or rising tension. A darling might also be something that takes your readers down an unintended different path.  

☐Have you checked the pace of your story by making a pb dummy? My favorite picture book dummy templates are provided for FREE by author/illustrator Debbi Ridpath Ohi. 

Here is Debbie Ridpath Ohi's link to her Free Dummy Templates.

☐After you make your dummy have you searched for ways to be more concise?

☐Have you successfully included more “showing” moments than “telling” moments? Have you made decisions around each moment to note if it is best to show, tell, or show and tell?

☐Have you highlighted your manuscript to see if you have a good balance of action + dialogue? You can track more than that, too; you might see if you have too much exposition and if so, consider how you might transform some of it into action and dialogue.

☐Have you searched “to be” verbs (am/ is/ are/ was/ were) to see if you can upgrade some of these into action verbs?

☐ Did you choose strong and fresh verbs (yes – so many checkboxes around verbs, and that’s not an accident. That’s to show how important they are)?

☐ Did you delete any unnecessary intensifiers or filler words (just, always, usually, very, etc.) – the key is “unnecessary”. If the word goes away and nothing changes, you don’t need it.

☐ Have you considered each time you say “began” or “started” and considered deleting. Try the sentence without that hesitation word (for example, I began to run vs. I ran; I started to rush up the stairs vs. I bolted up the stairs) and see if you achieve the same vibe.

☐Does your protagonist or narrator have a flaw and/or would the story benefit if your

character was flawed or slightly flawed (know-it-all, persnickety, bossy, nosy, stubborn, grumpy, selfish, proud, braggy, miserly, spendthrift, lacks boundaries, etc.)?

☐ Do you have the right narrator and/or the right protagonist?

 ☐ Have you considered your story in a variety of ways (1^st person, second person, 3^rd person, prose, verse) to make sure you have the best vehicle for this story?

☐ If you are choosing rhyme, have you made sure to avoid “Yoda-speak” and/or awkward

sentences. Delete anything that sounds forced or backwards for the sake of rhyme –aka make sure you don’t have forced rhyme. The must be the star of the book over the rhyme.

☐ If you are choosing rhyme, have you tried a scansion test to track if your rhythm/meters are on pointed your story?

Here is a link on what is scancion and "how to scansion" from Master Class.

☐For any story - is each sentence the right length for the moment? Make sure you aren’t cramming several ideas into one sentence. Avoid overly long sentences, especially at the beginning when a reader is just discovering the story – try your best not to go past 17 words in a sentence unless there is a compelling reason to do so (e.g., perhaps a long sentence is purposeful to add to the mood, energy, comedy, hysteria, or character’s personality).

☐Are you (mostly) using invisible tags over effusive dialogue tags? Would the characters

shine brighter and the story flow smoother if the tags become invisible - e.g., he said/she said/they said (these are called “invisible tags”). Most writing advice says invisible tags are the way to go – sure, you can do something different occasionally; but if you do it on every page, it might weigh down your story.

☐Are you making sure to delete stage directions that can be left to the illustrator? A stage direction can be a wasteful use of storytelling text (and you only have a 500-word budget).  An example might be something like, “Madeline opened the door, walked down the hall, and turned left.” You don’t have to say this since the illustrations will orient the reader. Delete a stage direction when it doesn’t add any meaning or music to the scene, character reveal, plot, or theme enhancements.

☐Are you making sure to hold on to a stage direction when it adds to the pace and delight of the read aloud performance (e.g., slowing down the pace and stretching it out in a dramatic moment).

☐ Are you leaving space for the illustrator to be creative?

☐ Can you delete any or all illustration notes? Trust illustrators to their craft and try not to step in their lane.

☐ Are you making sure that your story can be enjoyed and understood even by the most active child who is listening in the back of the library or classroom during story time? (Yes – it’s important to have space for the illustrator, but don’t let the pendulum swing too hard. It is also important that the text captivates, connects, and engages the listener).

☐ Are you trusting your reader rather than overwriting? Remember, a picture book is a balance of the writer, the illustrator, and the readers – each bring something to the experience.

☐Have you tracked your transitions (concept and journey stories)? Take another look and see if you are using the best transitions possible to thread moments together (bridges) that flow naturally while still shining a light on the trajectory of your story’s aboutness?

☐  Have you searched for moments when the exposition can be better delivered through dialogue instead?

☐ Is your character in agency – driving the plot and or affecting the world around them (journey story).

☐Is the aboutness present in Act I?

☐Is the aboutness present in Act II and is your break into act ii a “squeeze the toothpaste”
moment?

☐Is the aboutness present in Act III?

☐Are you leaving space for the reader’s brain to work such that you are not delivering a story that is that is too “on the nose”? 😊Discoveries and engagement are parts of reading enjoyment.

☐Did you avoid being didactic, lesson-y and/or preachy?

☐Is the emotional state at the beginning of the story different than at the end of the story (the situation or the protagonist in a journey story; the sense of wow or awe or knowledge at the end of a concept book)?

☐Have you avoided unsatisfactory repeating (this is different than poetic and purposeful

repeating)? Go line-by-line (or perhaps paragraph by paragraph) and ask yourself if the line/paragraph achieves any of the following. Does it:

·       reveal character (revealing something about character to contribute to the reasons to root for this character in terms of sympathy/ empathy/jeopardy, likability, competency or power)

·       or does it contribute to moving the plot forward in a new way that hasn’t yet happened

·       or does it appear in the right order in terms of rising action

·       or does it illuminate goals or stakes

·       or is the repeat intentional to add musicality or emphasis or a refrain

·       or does it enhance the “aboutness” or theme of the story with meaning (aboutness) and music (the best choice of words)?

☐ Do you feel satisfied by the “so what” questions like why does this story matter and why will it be meaningful to a reader and why does it matter right now?

☐Have you ended on a surprising yet inevitable note or discovered a “wow” ending or provided an ending that will keep the reader thinking about the story even after the last page has been turned?

☐ Were you able to achieve everything above in 500 words or less?

P.S. A few parting tips:

Have you read Ann Whitford Paul's book, On Writing Picture Books: The Revised and Expanded Edition? If not you should!

Have you looked for mentor texts? That helps, too.

Have you been reading and reading and reading in the genre that you'd like to be published? If yes, A+ to you!

10 Tricks to Revise your Writing and Make Your Manuscript Sing

Top Ten Tricks to Revise your Writing and Make your Manuscript Sing©

By Kim Tomsic

I recently met with a group of children’s book writers for a brain-storming session on revision techniques. Here’s what we came up with:

1.      Choose strong verbs to make your sentences active NOT passive.

2.      Use consonants to nail humor. Comedy writers say consonants are funnier than vowels, so revise word choice where needed. For example, corndog is funnier than ice cream, upchuck is funnier than vomit.

3.      Watch out for using “STARTS”. Avoid having your character “start” or “begin” something. Don’t have him start walking down the street or begin making dinner. Think like Nike™—just do it!  The exception: “Started” works when the character begins to do something, but then stops, i.e. “I started to close the door, but the stranger caught it with his foot.”

4.     

Showing makes us feel closer to the protagonist. Duh! As writers, we’ve heard this a gazillion times—show don’t tell. And sure, there are moments to tell, but if you want your reader walking shoulder-to-

shoulder with your protagonist, showing is a smart way to put the reader in the protagonist's shoes. We all know that, yet we still make the mistake of too much telling. Not to worry, that’s what revisions are for! When editing your manuscript, weigh every sentence in your story. Does it show or does it tell? I have an amazing example borrowed from Matt de la Peña’s book, We Were Here. In the book, the main character is smack in the middle of a first kiss. Instead of giving the reader a “tell” line like, “I was nervous” or “I felt awkward” the author shows how the character felt by writing:

 

On the outside I tried to make like everything was super smooth and calm and my palms were dry as hell, but inside my mind was thinking all kinds of crazy thoughts like: How long do I keep my mouth open? And when do I turn my face? And how much tongue do I use? And where do I put my hands? And how are we supposed to breathe?(255).

 

5.      Listen to the voice. Ask yourself if each line meets the voice you intend to convey. Read it aloud and think of your audience. If you get bored with the sound of your prose, your audience will grow bored, too. Next, have somebody else read your story aloud and listen to the words with fresh ears (especially picture book writers). You may hear the reader emphasize words you did not intend to highlight, or you may hear the story exactly as you anticipated.

6.      DO THE EXTRA WORK. If you know your writing weaknesses, search your manuscript for those problem areas. Read books in your genre. Use tools—author John McPhee advises writers to skip the thesaurus and use the dictionary when looking for better words. He says the dictionary gives the subtle nuances around the meaning of words and can inspire better choices. I say use both! 

7.      Keep a rules book, especially if your story has magic. And let your readers in on the rules, so they

understand the stakes. Also make a timeline for your story to keep things in sync. I remember one author saying his copy editor found he had eight weeks in his October!

8.      Make a check list to see if your story contains satisfying plot elements.

¨   Does your character have a want (and does reader want to root for MC)?

¨  Do you have a flawed protagonist? I hope so! Nobody wants to root for a perfect character.

¨   Is there an inciting incident?

¨   Does your story have real stakes and tension?

¨   Does your main character (m.c.) make things happen, instead of having a bunch of things happen to him?

¨   Do you have a compelling antagonist vs. a gratuitous antagonist?

¨   Do you have interesting subplots?

¨   Does your protagonist make a big decisions that propels them through a couple of “doorways” ? A doorway, in my eyes, is a point of no return—imagine toothpaste squeezing out of a tube, once you squeeze it out, you can’t put it back in. Some giant examples include: killing someone, announcing a classmate's secret over the school’s loudspeakers, burning down a building…those are all things you can’t undo…you can’t unkill (in most books), you can’t untell, you can’t unburn. **Please note—the doorways are the most compelling when your main character makes a decision, NOT when something happens to them. However, sometimes a protagonist is thrust into Act II. But from that point forward, make sure they drive the plot movement.

¨ Do you have "But" or "Therefore" action between story beats (you should!) rather than "and then this happens...and then this happens." Want to know more? Check out this video at NYU with the makers of South Park.

¨  Do you have a second doorway that leads into Act III? I hope so!

¨   Do you have a black moment when your main character almost gives up or feels at his low?

¨   Do you have a showdown moment and/or a climax?

¨   Does your main character change by the end of the story?

¨   Did you tie up loose ends?

9.       JOIN A CRITIQUING GROUP. Get involved in a critiquing group and listen to at least some of the advice. Be a good receiver and a good reviewer. We get so close to our work, it's hard to hear it clearly after a while. The more you critique somebody's work, the more you're able to see the flaws that need fixing in your own manuscript.

10.  10. Add tools (craft books) to your toolbox: 

The Emotional Thesaurus

Spunk and Bite

Rivit Your Reader with Deep Pointof View

Save the Cat

WORKING WITH ME: I'd love to speak at your workshop, conference, or school! Contact me here.