3 Quick and Easy Examples of "Suspension of Disbelief"

Suspension of Disbelief is a term to describe the fact the readers and viewing audiences are willing to set aside critical thinking to enjoy a story. 

INTERRUPTING the suspension of disbelief dismantles/unhinges a story. When that happens, the reader gets knocked out of the reading experience, and their logical brain takes over.  Don't do that to your readers! To avoid interruptions, writers must follow the rules of the world they initially established. 

For example, in Wolfie the Bunny by Ame Dyckman and Zachariah OHora, the protagonist is Dot. She is a bunny child in a bunny family. The ordinary world sets up a dad bunny in a hat and suit; a mom bunny in glasses, dress, and purse; and dot with her hoodie and hairbow. The reader is willing to suspend disbelief and accept that this clothing-wearing bunny family exists, because we want to immerse ourselves in their story. The opening lines shows us the system of logic that we will attach to: 

        The bunny family came home to find a bundle outside their door. 

        They peeked. They gasped. It was a baby wolf!

        "He's adorable!" said Mama. "He's ours!" said Papa.

        "He's GOING TO EAT US ALL UP!" said Dot.

        But Mama and Papa were too smitten to listen.

The system of logic - Dot sees the bundle is a baby wolf, and so she is afraid of the future. But Mama and Papa are too smitten to listen. It goes on that the adults in the neighborhood are also smitten, and the kids in the hood are wise. What is Dot to do? How will she save her family as the wolf grows? That is the story question and logic system we are willing to follow.

If the writer goes 3/4 of the story and suddenly inserts a magical unicorn to solve the problem when no magic has been setup, then the system of logic falls apart. The suspension of disbelief is dismantled, and the story no longer works. Readers will get knocked out of the story and think, "This is too far fetched." Sure, they were willing to believe in this bunny family, but magic? No. Because it was not part of the original logic system. Readers want to enjoy a story rather than have their brains take over (cue interruption) and question the logic system.

Let's take a look at my favorite 1988 movie, Big, starring Tom Hanks.

“After a wish turns 12-year-old Josh into a 30-year-old man, he heads to New York City and gets a low-level job at a Toy Company. A chance encounter with the owner of the company leads to a promotion testing new toys. Soon a fellow employee takes a romantic interest in Josh. However, the pressure of living as an adult begins to overwhelm him, and he longs to return to his simple, former life as a boy.”

The system of logic in Big is that Hank's character (Josh) still has the mind and brain development of a 12-year-old. Therefore, that system would come unhinged if suddenly he was perfectly capable of driving a car - no, because that is not part of his 12-year-old logic. 

The suspension of disbelief allows us to have fun in unusual worlds. For example, the intricate logic system deliberately set up in Star Wars allows us to suspend disbelief and step into a galaxy far far away. How did they do this so well? They establish a consistent, well-defined universe with clear rules around the "Force" to make way for elements like the lightsabers, telekinesis, and other powers that have limitations and internal logic. 

THE KEY: The logic system and rules of the world are established in the setup. 

53 Sure-Fire Ways to Make Your Picture Book Manuscript Ready for Submission: The Ultimate Editing and Revising Checklist!

53 Tricks to Make Sure Your Picture Book is Submission Ready: Kim's Editing and Revising Checklist™

By Kim Tomsic

Huzzah! You've written a picture book, you've worked with a critique group, and now you're wondering if it's ready to submit. Work through this checklist. Revise and edit if necessary. Then bring this checklist to your next critique meeting, so they can help you see the cleanest answer to each of the following: 

Is My Picture Book Ready? Final Checklist:

☐Did you keep your story’s theme/ “aboutness” present and alive in the beginning, middle, and end? Name what your story is about________________________

☐If you are writing about a character, do you have reasons for readers to identify with the character (will readers root for this character because of sympathy, empathy, likability, competency, super-power quality)?

☐Is this story for a child?

☐ Is there a placeholder for the child’s emotions?

☐Is there a hook and is the hook compelling (this applies to both journey stories and concept books – remember a concept book is an “early learning concept” like the alphabet, shapes, colors, numbers, seasons, days of the week, etc.)?

☐ Is there a reason for the reader to become invested during early pages?

☐ If your story has a character, is the reader able to track the character’s emotions/how the character feels during the story?

☐If you are writing a hero’s journey, do you have a clear reason why TODAY is the day that sends the hero on the journey? Why must the story question or story problem be answered TODAY of all days? _________________________________ If you can’t answer this, your readers might ask, “So what? Why does any of this matter right now? Why not just do it another day?”

☐Is there a clear goal?

☐Are there meaningful stakes (what is at risk or what happens if the protagonist doesn’t achieve their goal)?

☐Is there room for a ticking timeclock in your story; and if so, have you used it to the best of your abilities?

☐Are you bringing a new and vibrant angle to a story that has been told before? If you are

creating a concept book or journey, what fresh and new ways are you adding to the conversation? ______________________________________

☐If you are creating a concept book or a journey, is there a piece of YOU that you can uniquely bring to this story?

☐(Journey and Concept) Does this story have BOTH meaning and music (a captivating, meaningful story told with fresh and delightful words) such that the reader wants to open this book a second, third, and fourth time?

☐Do the verbs in your story match the vibes you are trying to create (if not, upgrade those verbs)?

☐ Is your story a piece of theater that the reader can perform for the child? Does your story have performance quality for the read aloud (e.g., pace + important page turn moments matched with gorgeous language or funny language or rhythmic or musical language or onomatopoeia or something else)?

☐Do you have rising action and/or rising tension or an escalation?

☐Did you reach a clear midpoint in the story and at the right pace?

☐Did you delete all darlings?  “Darling” words/lines or “darling” characters are ones that if deleted, nothing about the story would change. *Note – a darling might be something taking up too much real estate in your story without contributing as a “foil” or to the aboutness, story beat, emotional state, character reveal and reason to root, stakes, goal, or rising tension. A darling might also be something that takes your readers down an unintended different path.  

☐Have you checked the pace of your story by making a pb dummy? My favorite picture book dummy templates are provided for FREE by author/illustrator Debbi Ridpath Ohi. 

Here is Debbie Ridpath Ohi's link to her Free Dummy Templates.

☐After you make your dummy have you searched for ways to be more concise?

☐Have you successfully included more “showing” moments than “telling” moments? Have you made decisions around each moment to note if it is best to show, tell, or show and tell?

☐Have you highlighted your manuscript to see if you have a good balance of action + dialogue? You can track more than that, too; you might see if you have too much exposition and if so, consider how you might transform some of it into action and dialogue.

☐Have you searched “to be” verbs (am/ is/ are/ was/ were) to see if you can upgrade some of these into action verbs?

☐ Did you choose strong and fresh verbs (yes – so many checkboxes around verbs, and that’s not an accident. That’s to show how important they are)?

☐ Did you delete any unnecessary intensifiers or filler words (just, always, usually, very, etc.) – the key is “unnecessary”. If the word goes away and nothing changes, you don’t need it.

☐ Have you considered each time you say “began” or “started” and considered deleting. Try the sentence without that hesitation word (for example, I began to run vs. I ran; I started to rush up the stairs vs. I bolted up the stairs) and see if you achieve the same vibe.

☐Does your protagonist or narrator have a flaw and/or would the story benefit if your

character was flawed or slightly flawed (know-it-all, persnickety, bossy, nosy, stubborn, grumpy, selfish, proud, braggy, miserly, spendthrift, lacks boundaries, etc.)?

☐ Do you have the right narrator and/or the right protagonist?

 ☐ Have you considered your story in a variety of ways (1^st person, second person, 3^rd person, prose, verse) to make sure you have the best vehicle for this story?

☐ If you are choosing rhyme, have you made sure to avoid “Yoda-speak” and/or awkward

sentences. Delete anything that sounds forced or backwards for the sake of rhyme –aka make sure you don’t have forced rhyme. The must be the star of the book over the rhyme.

☐ If you are choosing rhyme, have you tried a scansion test to track if your rhythm/meters are on pointed your story?

Here is a link on what is scancion and "how to scansion" from Master Class.

☐For any story - is each sentence the right length for the moment? Make sure you aren’t cramming several ideas into one sentence. Avoid overly long sentences, especially at the beginning when a reader is just discovering the story – try your best not to go past 17 words in a sentence unless there is a compelling reason to do so (e.g., perhaps a long sentence is purposeful to add to the mood, energy, comedy, hysteria, or character’s personality).

☐Are you (mostly) using invisible tags over effusive dialogue tags? Would the characters

shine brighter and the story flow smoother if the tags become invisible - e.g., he said/she said/they said (these are called “invisible tags”). Most writing advice says invisible tags are the way to go – sure, you can do something different occasionally; but if you do it on every page, it might weigh down your story.

☐Are you making sure to delete stage directions that can be left to the illustrator? A stage direction can be a wasteful use of storytelling text (and you only have a 500-word budget).  An example might be something like, “Madeline opened the door, walked down the hall, and turned left.” You don’t have to say this since the illustrations will orient the reader. Delete a stage direction when it doesn’t add any meaning or music to the scene, character reveal, plot, or theme enhancements.

☐Are you making sure to hold on to a stage direction when it adds to the pace and delight of the read aloud performance (e.g., slowing down the pace and stretching it out in a dramatic moment).

☐ Are you leaving space for the illustrator to be creative?

☐ Can you delete any or all illustration notes? Trust illustrators to their craft and try not to step in their lane.

☐ Are you making sure that your story can be enjoyed and understood even by the most active child who is listening in the back of the library or classroom during story time? (Yes – it’s important to have space for the illustrator, but don’t let the pendulum swing too hard. It is also important that the text captivates, connects, and engages the listener).

☐ Are you trusting your reader rather than overwriting? Remember, a picture book is a balance of the writer, the illustrator, and the readers – each bring something to the experience.

☐Have you tracked your transitions (concept and journey stories)? Take another look and see if you are using the best transitions possible to thread moments together (bridges) that flow naturally while still shining a light on the trajectory of your story’s aboutness?

☐  Have you searched for moments when the exposition can be better delivered through dialogue instead?

☐ Is your character in agency – driving the plot and or affecting the world around them (journey story).

☐Is the aboutness present in Act I?

☐Is the aboutness present in Act II and is your break into act ii a “squeeze the toothpaste”
moment?

☐Is the aboutness present in Act III?

☐Are you leaving space for the reader’s brain to work such that you are not delivering a story that is that is too “on the nose”? 😊Discoveries and engagement are parts of reading enjoyment.

☐Did you avoid being didactic, lesson-y and/or preachy?

☐Is the emotional state at the beginning of the story different than at the end of the story (the situation or the protagonist in a journey story; the sense of wow or awe or knowledge at the end of a concept book)?

☐Have you avoided unsatisfactory repeating (this is different than poetic and purposeful

repeating)? Go line-by-line (or perhaps paragraph by paragraph) and ask yourself if the line/paragraph achieves any of the following. Does it:

·       reveal character (revealing something about character to contribute to the reasons to root for this character in terms of sympathy/ empathy/jeopardy, likability, competency or power)

·       or does it contribute to moving the plot forward in a new way that hasn’t yet happened

·       or does it appear in the right order in terms of rising action

·       or does it illuminate goals or stakes

·       or is the repeat intentional to add musicality or emphasis or a refrain

·       or does it enhance the “aboutness” or theme of the story with meaning (aboutness) and music (the best choice of words)?

☐ Do you feel satisfied by the “so what” questions like why does this story matter and why will it be meaningful to a reader and why does it matter right now?

☐Have you ended on a surprising yet inevitable note or discovered a “wow” ending or provided an ending that will keep the reader thinking about the story even after the last page has been turned?

☐ Were you able to achieve everything above in 500 words or less?

P.S. A few parting tips:

Have you read Ann Whitford Paul's book, On Writing Picture Books: The Revised and Expanded Edition? If not you should!

Have you looked for mentor texts? That helps, too.

Have you been reading and reading and reading in the genre that you'd like to be published? If yes, A+ to you!

5 Pro-Tips About Back Matter

 

5 Pro-tips on Back Matter

by Kim Tomsic

What is Back Matter:

Readers love back matter (so do editors)! Back matter is the information you find after the final page of the story (after "the end"). It’s something that teachers often use as a teacher's guide, and readers use when they are craving more information. Back matter is most often found in nonfiction; however, you can find it in fiction and concept books, too.

Why Have Back Matter:

You’ll likely find backmatter in nonfiction picture books or picture books that are based on a true story, because it’s impossible to pack all aspects of a true story into one picture book. Wise authors know that it serves picture book readers best to focus on a key aspect of the story experience rather than cover everything. The back matter is a space for the additional gems and nuggets that didn’t have a proper spot in the storytelling.

Five pro-tips that might help you when consider including back matter:  

1.        Back matter helps reviewers appreciate your story on a deeper level. For example, if your story takes place on the continent of Africa, you might include back matter to identify the country and/or uniqueness of the region as well as its biome.

2.       Back matter is not part of your word count when you submit.

3.       EasyBib is a wonderful website where you can create a properly formatted running bibliography while writing a nonfiction book.

4.       Back matter provides another reason for schools and libraries to want your book. Teachers and librarians use back matter material for additional activities and/or book displays.

5.       Some Examples of back matter that you might choose to include: 

o   Glossaries  Room for Everyone by Naaz Khan and Merce Lopez 

o   Author note/artist note - see Watercress by Andrea Wang and Jason Chin

o   "More About ___(subject matter) see Up in the Garden and Down inthe Dirt by Kate Messner and Christopher Silas Neal   (check out the entire series - it's wonderful!)

o   Afterword" Magic Ramen by Andrea Wang and Kana Urbanowicz 

o   Timelines - see The Great Stink: How Joseph Bazalgette Solved London's Poop Pollution Problem by Colleen Paeff and Nancy Carpenter. Based on my school visits and questions from children, kids LOVE timelines! 

o   Recipes - see Cooler Than Lemonade by Harshita Jerath & Chloe Burgett

o   Bibliography -  A Mind of Her Own: The Story of Mystery Writer Agatha Christie by Robyn McGrath and Liz Wong 

o   List of personal interviews and site visits -The People's Painter:

How Ben Shahn Fought for Justice with Art by Cynthia Levinson and Evan Turk 

o   Further reading suggestions Josephine by Patricia Hruby Powell and Christian Robinson 

o   Pronunciation guide Magic Ramen by Andrea Wang and Kana Urbanowicz).

The Mistake to Avoid When Writing Your Story

Hello! You're probably reading this because you are a writer. If so, I'll bet you've been asked, "What is your story about?" Knowing your story's aboutness and being able to talk about it in a couple of concise sentences says you're on the right track for delivering a focused story. 

What is “Aboutness”:

Some people call “aboutness” the theme. However, that word feels intimidating to me, so I

stick with talking in terms of  “aboutness”. Your story will be about something, right? Examples include friendship (Sophie’s Squash), boredom and conflict (The Longest Storm), problem solving (The Teacher’s Pet), navigating a new situation like a first day of school or moving (Evelyn Del Ray is Moving Away), answering the question “Where do babies come from?” (The Baby Tree), ingenuity and kindness (Extra Yarn), bravery (Truman), self-love and the power of words to hurt and heal (BIG), innovation and perseverance (Guitar Genius), curiosity and determinations (The Fire of Stars), trust and friendship (The Elephants Come Home), perspectives (Two Together), the environment and the interconnections of the natural world (A River of Dust: The Life-Giving Link Between North Africa and the Amazon) 
etc.

The above are picture book titles. My newest book (co-written with Mark Parisi) The Truth About 5th Grade is about friendship and perspectives. There are always two sides to every story!

 

Pro tip: THE MISTAKE to avoid 

Oftentimes, new writers believe picture books are about teaching a lesson. They are not.

Have an aboutness without hitting the reader over the head with a lesson. Entertain with interesting hooks, words, characters, and action. If a picture book comes across didactic or “lesson-y”, the young reader will probably tune out. Kids can smell preachy lessons from a mile away.

I appreciate how Ann Whitford Paul says “Children are wise enough to figure out what a story is about without an explicitly stated moral. We’re in the business of writing engaging stories, not teaching lessons” (Writing Picture Books, page 13).

Good luck with the story you are writing. 

Cheers,

Kim

5 Tips to Help Reluctant Readers Fall in Love With Books

Tips to help reluctant readers fall in love with books

1.       Listen to audiobooks.

2.      Choose visually appealing books.

3.      Take turns reading.

4.      Choose books with white space (that means avoid densely packed/wordy pages). Your child wants to feel successful turning each page. Slow page-turns can make reading feel weighty.

5.      Help your child choose books with subjects that are fun and interesting to them.

THE TRUTH ABOUT 5th GRADE (HarperCollins), written by award-winning author Kim Tomsic and award-winning cartoonist, Mark Parisi, is ideal for 2^nd-5^th grade readers who love humor, sloths, wild science, and a funny touch of poetry. This laugh-out-loud story is written as "he-said/she-said" diary entries by two BFFs with different perspectives about the "truth" about fifth grade. For avid readers, reluctant readers, and for fans of Invisible Emmie and Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

Critical praise:

"The truth is: readers are going to LOVE this HILARIOUS he-said/she-said diary!” — Sarah Mlynowski, author of the NYT Bestselling Whatever After series

 

"The book includes plenty of humor, such as a memory of a ladybug flying up Alex’s nose... The illustrations are appealing and break up the text, making it accessible to reluctant readers. ... “Lively, fun, and deeply relatable."  — Kirkus Reviews

 

"As the besties struggle to get on the same page, [Alex and Charli] navigate friendship rivalries, pranks, and violations of privacy via fast-paced chapters that highlight their differences—and similarities—and offer laugh-out-loud moments."  — Publishers Weekly

“This illustrated diary-style novel delves into the changes and frustrations fifth grade can bring … [It’s a] comical tale of fifth grade that fans of Diary of Wimpy Kid and similar books will enjoy.” — School Library Journal

Revise First, Edit Later: Do You Know the Difference?

 

Updated: 4/26/2024

Hello, Creative Writers!

Sometimes the words "editing" and "revising" get interchanged, but they are different. 

Know the Difference:

Editing includes micro changes like making stronger verb choices, choosing language to match the mood of the scene, slowing down or speeding up a scene depending on what it needs, working out when to include dialogue tags and when to leave them out, deciding on paragraph fixes that could tighten your prose, making better word choices, noticing the read-aloud quality, the sound of the dialogue, etc.

Revising covers the macro changes such as deciding if a character could be cut from your book;  considering if each scene matters and how scenes are threaded through a "because of this then that" connection. In revision, you also track the pace of your plot, the turn of your scenes, the ticking timeclock and tension. You make sure that breadcrumbs are placed and that they have a payoff. You track if your protagonist has agency and is driving the action throughout the story; if they don't, you have reasons for why. During revisions, you make sure you've given the readers reasons to root for your protagonist, and you flesh out characters to make sure nobody is cardboard, and more! I can't wait to hear your ideas for revisions.   

You can look to the lists of others to find revision ideas that could possibly serve you. I hope you keep (or start) a personal revision checklist. Keep in mind that your list will be a work in progress. As you fix some of your writing issues, other issues will emerge.

Ideas for your Checklist:

Creating a personal editing and revising checklist helps me remember to look for things I know I can do better later. I don’t want to revise or edit in the middle of creating – it interrupts my flow. So when I'm creating a draft, I like to keep a running list of items to consider later during the editing and revision stages. If I don't keep a list, those items bug me and beg for my attention.

Examples of things on my editing checklist:

• Search "to be" verbs and update with action verbs.
• How can I amplify the tension on page x?
• How can page x feel more tactile?
• What's a fresh way to say ___________?
• Do I have too many em dashes or exclamation points (I tend to abuse these)?
• Can I delete 95% of of the times I say "just" in a chapter?
• How many times did I say "began" and/or "started" and can I delete?
• Are my intensifiers needed?
• Did I have too many dialogue tags, and did I do a good job with invisible dialogue tags? 

Examples from my revision checklist:

• Did I maintain good momentum turning the scenes à la Robert McKee style? (If you're curious to know more about turning a scene, read Changing the Positive and Negative Charges of a Value to Create Truly Effective Scenes)?
• Did I establish rules to my worldbuilding and did I follow the rules?
• Do I have an effective ticking-time clock and does the reader feel its presence?
• Are all the characters carrying their weight? Does every character matter to the plot, or are some of them "darlings" who/that should be cut or combined?
• Do any characters need further developing (does anyone disappear halfway through the novel)?
• Does every scene with dialogue ring true? 
• Did I carry motifs through in a meaningful way? 
• Are there moments the narrator reveals that could be better carried in dialgoue?
• Is my reader connected to how the protagonist feels throughout the story? The Emotional Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi might help with this. For example, if you want to show that a character feels "defeat", flip to “defeat” in The Emotional Thesaurus, and you’ll see ideas like, “lowering chin, toneless response, false bravado, cracking voice, and thick swallows.” For “anxiety” you’ll see, “rubbing back of the next, scratching, adjusting clothing, biting cuticle.” Obviously, you won't write ALL of these into your story 😼 Brain science shows us that readers want to put their feet in the protagonist’s shoes. Adding a light touch of feels will help bring the reader a step closer.
• Are all the scenes in the best order and connected by interstitials or by "because this happened then that happened" moments?
• Does my protagonist change or change the world around them by the end?
• Did I weave in the five senses effectively throughout the story?
• Did theme show up in a meaningful way?
• Are the protagonist's wants/goals apparent on the page so the reader can track what the character thinks will happen, what they hope will happen, and what is at stake throughout the story? I like how author/retired agent, Nathan Bransford, asks, "Are my characters actively going after things they want in each scene?"
• Am I giving my readers a close experience instead of leaving them behind by a nanosecond? What does this mean:
• Giving readers a shoulder-to-shoulder experience with the protagonist means letting the reader see, hear, smell, and realize at the same time as the protagonist. Instead of “I smell cinnamon”, your character might say, “Mmmmm, cinnamon!” or “Gross, who brought the stinky cheese?” Let your reader and the protagonist smell at the same time. Same can go for sounds, sights, and realizations—e.g., Instead of, “I heard a loud crash” replace with, “Crash! Shards of glass scattered at my feet.”

Stay in the flow! Try not to edit and/or revise in the moment, so you can stay in the creative flow. When I'm finished writing the first draft, I continue building my editing and revising checklist, adding items that are my know issues (oh, I have many 😉).

Please share ideas from your list!

Cheers,

Kim

p.s. Revise first. There's no point in editing scenes that might get deleted. Once revisions are done, you are ready for the micro changes. Here's a fun editing checklist on the blog Fiction Writer's Mentor.