3 Things You MUST Do When You Write a Story in Rhyme

 

Rhyme, Scansion, and Metric feet:

I admire authors who successfully write in rhyme. It's not easy! If you love writing in rhyme, make

sure you've followed this three-step check list before you send it to agents and publishers.

☐ Avoid “Yoda-speak” and/or awkward sentences. Delete anything that sounds forced or backwards for the sake of the rhyme –also known as forced rhyme. The STORY must be the star of the book over the rhyme.

☐ Rhyme is not successfully by simply matching syllables. You have to know if the syllables are stressed or unstressed. You must track metric feet. Take a scansion test to track if your rhythm/meter is on pointed throughout your story? (Scansion definitions and links are below).

☐ Make sure the rhyme moves the story forward. No gratuitous words for the sake of matching the rhythm. The rhyme must drive the reader from act i to act ii to act iii without a forced pause. 

SCANSION: Scansion or “scanning” a poem is the act of tracking stressed and unstressed (strong and weak) syllables.  For example, the word “emphasis” is pronounced [ em-fuh-sis ], not em- FAH-sis – the middle section is unstressed. It doesn’t pause or linger or receive special emphasis. Readers should be able to read a poem with natural emphasis on syllables.  

EMPASIS: A strong syllable is pronounced with more emphasis than a weak syllable. Scansion helps writers see and establish the rhythmic structure (the meter). A good PATTERN (to my ears) makes the rhythm and rhyme work. The pattern of stressed and unstressed is what forms the metric feet.

How do you know if a syllable is stressed or unstressed beyond listening to speech rhythm. You could check dictionaries – the stressed syllable is marked with an accent or is in bold type. Like “mu-sic” meaning the first syllable is stressed. Yes – it is a lot of work!  Some tricks beyond listening to natural patterns include:

• Nouns and adjectives: Often, the first syllable is stressed (e.g., TA-ble, HAP-py).
• Verbs and Prepositions: Usually, the second syllable is stressed if the word has two syllables (e.g., “become”= be-COME; “reply”= re-PLY).
• Compound words – a phrase will follow a pattern.

·       Here is a link for How to Scansion a poem: 

METRIC FEET: How do you know if your rhythm is working – track the metric feet.

What might tracking metric feet look like? Check out this link.

You can mark stressed and unstressed to track your metric feet (e.g., you can mark stressed syllables with “x” and unstressed with “o” ).

Check out Tim McCanna's books for examples of rhyme done well!

Also note, picture books don't have to rhyme. There are other beautiful (and other poetic) ways to write a story. Check out this article in Writer's Digest.

Top 15 Tips for Your Path to Publication

 

Congratulations on pursuing your writing and publishing dreams. Let’s go!

 

1.             READ READ READ! Read A LOT of books in the genre in which you want to be published, and make sure you read a lot of current books. When you find a book you love, spend extra time trying to identify two “tricks” the author used to get you (the reader) to root for the protagonist and the protagonist’s goals.

2.             Keep a running list of comp titles: *Publishing is a business, and publishers will want something to compare potential revenue to. Stay aware of your genre and note what books might be comparable titles to your story so you can be ready when it’s time to pitch. 

3.             Follow the hashtag #MSWS which stands for Manuscript Wish List. That’s where agents list the type of manuscripts they’d like to read. Watch social media for pitch events and also mentorship opportunities.

4.             Learn about PAY. #PublishingPaidMe was created on Twitter by L.L. McKinney and spearheaded by McKinney and Tochi Onyebuchi. You can find and view the public, anonymous spreadsheet link on Melanin in YA’s blogsite or here, brought to you by The Transparency Project.

5.             Join or form a critique group with writers who write and read in your same genre (e.g., if you write YA fantasy, critique with fellow YA fantasy writers).

6.             Join  SCBWI aka Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. It’s an organization of authors and illustrators who help other authors and illustrators. You will learn so much about craft and professionalism by participating in SCBWI events.

7.             ENGAGE Attend a conference or webinar. It will close the learning gap quickly. If you do, make sure you sign up for a one-on-one critique.

8.            Hold yourself accountable: Join 12x12 which was formed by Julie Hedlund. What is it: "12 x 12 is an inclusive and supportive learning community of picture book authors and illustrators at all experience levels. You’ll get accountability, encouragement, and resources to support you in achieving your goal of writing one new picture book draft each month (or at least writing more than you would on your own)."

9.             If you want to write picture books, read Ann Whiteford Paul's revised and expanded edition Writing Picture Books. If you are writing a novel, check out books on structure like Save the Cat Writes the Novel by Jessica Brody.

10.         BIC: Get your “Butt In Chair” and write every day. Have a goal of how many words a day you plan to write—and by the way, word count is the lingo of the writing world. It's not about page count, but instead word count.   

11.          Keep a Collections Journal of ideas, words, names, smells, phrases, etc.

12.          Connect/Community : See if someone in your area hosts a writer connect (a writer get-together)—a free event with a monthly topic. Topics can be anything from novel structure, character development, etc. You’ll find this easily if you join SCBWI.

13.         READ BLOGS: My blog is PACKED with advice on things like making a revision checklists, how to write a query letter, how to use back matter, etc. Scroll on through to read my tips (aka Three Parts of a Query Letter).

14.         Get Social: I stay busy with Instagram. However, many kid-lit authors now use Blue Sky (I haven’t checked it out yet).

15.         Be a good Literary Citizen: See what’s happening in Writer's Digest. If you’re advanced in the writing and query process, you might even subscribe to Publishers Marketplace. There, you’ll be able to see which agent represents xyz book and which publisher bought it and for around how much money. Check out The Horn Book magazine. Read School Library Journal if you have time.

BONUS! Take one of my classes at UCLA Extensions or wherever I might be speaking!

Other posts you might want to click on:

3 Parts of a Query Letter and 5 Parts of the Hook Paragraph - Your Guide to Connect with a Literary Agent

The Ultimate Editing and Revising Checklist! (53 points!)

5 Pro-Tips About Back Matter

The Mistake to Avoid When Writing Your Story

11 Mistakes to Avoid When Querying a Literary Agent

7 Quick and Easy Tips for Writing Dialogue Tags

What's a HIGH CONCEPT hook?

 

 

Publishing 101 

3 Parts of a Query Letter and 5 Parts of the Hook Paragraph - Your Guide to Connect with a Literary Agent

 

Agents receive hundreds of queries per month. Want to be noticed? Present a clean, easy-to-read letter

that follows the agent's guidelines. Live in the paradox of writing a robust but short letter. Keep it down to three paragraphs that are easy to skim. A scannable letter follows the formula of

THE HOOK

THE BOOK

THE COOK.

HOOK: The “hook” paragraph includes 5 important components:

1.       Say why you chose that agent (WHY them in particular). One short and sweet sentence is enough.  

    2.      Word count

    3.      Genre (e.g., middle grade fantasy, contemporary YA, narrative nonfiction picture book, etc.)

    4.      Title of your manuscript (capitalized)

    5.      Hook (aka name comp titles) – a comp is used to fast-forward a reader’s understanding of what you are pitching. Don’t compare yourself to obscure books or little-known writers because that does not achieve your goal of creating a quick set-up in the reader's brain. Do a lot of research! Find comps. They help hook an agent. 

EXAMPLE in order of the five components: 

Dear Rossi,

I enjoyed your interview in Writer's Digest and reading about your desire to represent nail-biting middle grade novels that feature strong STEM girls. Please accept this query for my 31,000-word spooky middle-grade manuscript, THE HAUNTING OF HAMLET MIDDLE SCHOOL. Fans of Ellen Oh’s Spirit Hunters meets Aimee Lucido’s Emmy in the Key of Code will also be fans of this story.  

THE BOOK:  The “book” paragraph succinctly tells four things about your manuscript: 

1.  your flawed protagonist 
2. their goal
3. the stakes 
4. the theme. 

Write your "book" pitch as one compelling paragraph with those four parts in mind. You will not reveal the ending unless the agent’s guidelines ask you to include a synopsis (a synopsis tells the full story—the beginning, middle, and ending). The “book” paragraph might read like a jacket flap. Keep in mind, it is to entice the agent to open the manuscript.

THE COOK: The “cook” paragraph is about you as it relates to writing. Remember, keep it concise and professional for the win. You don’t have to have publishing credit to write your cook paragraph. If you are a member of SCBWI, say so. If you are taking writing courses, mention that. If you are an active member of a critique group, you can even mention that. If you are pitching a nonfiction book, mention your credentials to write that book (e.g., you are writing a space nonfiction and you work for NASA, mention that).

Here is an example of a short-and-sweet “cook” paragraph:

By day, I teach coding for the University of California Berkeley, by night I take creative writing courses through UCLA Extensions.  I am an active member of SCBWI and belong to two critique groups. As per your submission guidelines, I’ve pasted the first ten pages in the body of this email.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Gold D. Locks

Phone

Email address

P.S. Check out a current list of agent interviews on Natalie Aguirre's blog, Literary Rambles.

3 Quick and Easy Examples of "Suspension of Disbelief"

Suspension of Disbelief is a term to describe the fact the readers and viewing audiences are willing to set aside critical thinking to enjoy a story. 

INTERRUPTING the suspension of disbelief dismantles/unhinges a story. When that happens, the reader gets knocked out of the reading experience, and their logical brain takes over.  For example, if you story is about a coven of witches set in in the 1990s, we are willing to suspend disbelief and follow the witches' stories; however, if a character whips out an iPhone - the brain buzzes with -HUHWHAT? Logical brain tells the reader that iPhones weren't around in the 90s, and the suspension of disbelief is dismantled. Don't do that to your readers! To avoid interruptions, writers must follow the rules of the world they initially established. 

For example, in Wolfie the Bunny by Ame Dyckman and Zachariah OHora, the protagonist is Dot. She is a bunny child in a bunny family. The ordinary world sets up a dad bunny in a hat and suit; a mom bunny in glasses, dress, and purse; and dot with her hoodie and hairbow. The reader is willing to suspend disbelief and accept that this clothing-wearing bunny family exists, because we want to immerse ourselves in their story. The opening lines shows us the system of logic that we will attach to: 

        The bunny family came home to find a bundle outside their door. 

        They peeked. They gasped. It was a baby wolf!

        "He's adorable!" said Mama. "He's ours!" said Papa.

        "He's GOING TO EAT US ALL UP!" said Dot.

        But Mama and Papa were too smitten to listen.

The system of logic - Dot sees the bundle is a baby wolf, and so she is afraid of the future. But Mama and Papa are too smitten to listen. It goes on that the adults in the neighborhood are also smitten, and the kids in the hood are wise. What is Dot to do? How will she save her family as the wolf grows? That is the story question and logic system we are willing to follow.

If the writer goes 3/4 of the story and suddenly inserts a magical unicorn to solve the problem when no magic has been setup, then the system of logic falls apart. The suspension of disbelief is dismantled, and the story no longer works. Readers will get knocked out of the story and think, "This is too far fetched." Sure, they were willing to believe in this bunny family, but magic? No. Because it was not part of the original logic system. Readers want to enjoy a story rather than have their brains take over (cue interruption) and question the logic system.

Let's take a look at my favorite 1988 movie, Big, starring Tom Hanks.

“After a wish turns 12-year-old Josh into a 30-year-old man, he heads to New York City and gets a low-level job at a Toy Company. A chance encounter with the owner of the company leads to a promotion testing new toys. Soon a fellow employee takes a romantic interest in Josh. However, the pressure of living as an adult begins to overwhelm him, and he longs to return to his simple, former life as a boy.”

The system of logic in Big is that Hank's character (Josh) makes a wish and suddenly becomes "big" - he grows into the body of a 30-year-old but he still has the mind and brain development of a 12-year-old. Therefore, that system of logic is a 12-year-old walking around in a man's body. The suspension of disbelief, however, would come unhinged if he was suddenly capable of driving a car or doing complex accounting, because that is not part of his 12-year-old character's brain 

Our ability to suspend disbelief allows us to have fun in unusual worlds. For example, the intricate logic system deliberately set up in Star Wars allows us to suspend disbelief and step into a galaxy far far away. How did they do this so well? They establish a consistent, well-defined universe with clear rules around the "Force" to make way for elements like the lightsabers, telekinesis, and other powers that have limitations and internal logic. 

THE KEY: The logic system and rules of the world are established in the setup. 

53 Sure-Fire Ways to Make Your Picture Book Manuscript Ready for Submission: The Ultimate Editing and Revising Checklist!

53 Tricks to Make Sure Your Picture Book is Submission Ready: Kim's Editing and Revising Checklist™

By Kim Tomsic

Huzzah! You've written a picture book, you've worked with a critique group, and now you're wondering if it's ready to submit. Work through this checklist. Revise and edit if necessary. Then bring this checklist to your next critique meeting, so they can help you see the cleanest answer to each of the following: 

Is My Picture Book Ready? Final Checklist:

☐Did you keep your story’s theme/ “aboutness” present and alive in the beginning, middle, and end? Name what your story is about________________________

☐If you are writing about a character, do you have reasons for readers to identify with the character (will readers root for this character because of sympathy, empathy, likability, competency, super-power quality)?

☐Is this story for a child?

☐ Is there a placeholder for the child’s emotions?

☐Is there a hook and is the hook compelling (this applies to both journey stories and concept books – remember a concept book is an “early learning concept” like the alphabet, shapes, colors, numbers, seasons, days of the week, etc.)?

☐ Is there a reason for the reader to become invested during early pages?

☐ If your story has a character, is the reader able to track the character’s emotions/how the character feels during the story?

☐If you are writing a hero’s journey, do you have a clear reason why TODAY is the day that sends the hero on the journey? Why must the story question or story problem be answered TODAY of all days? _________________________________ If you can’t answer this, your readers might ask, “So what? Why does any of this matter right now? Why not just do it another day?”

☐Is there a clear goal?

☐Are there meaningful stakes (what is at risk or what happens if the protagonist doesn’t achieve their goal)?

☐Is there room for a ticking timeclock in your story; and if so, have you used it to the best of your abilities?

☐Are you bringing a new and vibrant angle to a story that has been told before? If you are

creating a concept book or journey, what fresh and new ways are you adding to the conversation? ______________________________________

☐If you are creating a concept book or a journey, is there a piece of YOU that you can uniquely bring to this story?

☐(Journey and Concept) Does this story have BOTH meaning and music (a captivating, meaningful story told with fresh and delightful words) such that the reader wants to open this book a second, third, and fourth time?

☐Do the verbs in your story match the vibes you are trying to create (if not, upgrade those verbs)?

☐ Is your story a piece of theater that the reader can perform for the child? Does your story have performance quality for the read aloud (e.g., pace + important page turn moments matched with gorgeous language or funny language or rhythmic or musical language or onomatopoeia or something else)?

☐Do you have rising action and/or rising tension or an escalation?

☐Did you reach a clear midpoint in the story and at the right pace?

☐Did you delete all darlings?  “Darling” words/lines or “darling” characters are ones that if deleted, nothing about the story would change. *Note – a darling might be something taking up too much real estate in your story without contributing as a “foil” or to the aboutness, story beat, emotional state, character reveal and reason to root, stakes, goal, or rising tension. A darling might also be something that takes your readers down an unintended different path.  

☐Have you checked the pace of your story by making a pb dummy? My favorite picture book dummy templates are provided for FREE by author/illustrator Debbi Ridpath Ohi. 

Here is Debbie Ridpath Ohi's link to her Free Dummy Templates.

☐After you make your dummy have you searched for ways to be more concise?

☐Have you successfully included more “showing” moments than “telling” moments? Have you made decisions around each moment to note if it is best to show, tell, or show and tell?

☐Have you highlighted your manuscript to see if you have a good balance of action + dialogue? You can track more than that, too; you might see if you have too much exposition and if so, consider how you might transform some of it into action and dialogue.

☐Have you searched “to be” verbs (am/ is/ are/ was/ were) to see if you can upgrade some of these into action verbs?

☐ Did you choose strong and fresh verbs (yes – so many checkboxes around verbs, and that’s not an accident. That’s to show how important they are)?

☐ Did you delete any unnecessary intensifiers or filler words (just, always, usually, very, etc.) – the key is “unnecessary”. If the word goes away and nothing changes, you don’t need it.

☐ Have you considered each time you say “began” or “started” and considered deleting. Try the sentence without that hesitation word (for example, I began to run vs. I ran; I started to rush up the stairs vs. I bolted up the stairs) and see if you achieve the same vibe.

☐Does your protagonist or narrator have a flaw and/or would the story benefit if your

character was flawed or slightly flawed (know-it-all, persnickety, bossy, nosy, stubborn, grumpy, selfish, proud, braggy, miserly, spendthrift, lacks boundaries, etc.)?

☐ Do you have the right narrator and/or the right protagonist?

 ☐ Have you considered your story in a variety of ways (1^st person, second person, 3^rd person, prose, verse) to make sure you have the best vehicle for this story?

☐ If you are choosing rhyme, have you made sure to avoid “Yoda-speak” and/or awkward

sentences. Delete anything that sounds forced or backwards for the sake of rhyme –aka make sure you don’t have forced rhyme. The must be the star of the book over the rhyme.

☐ If you are choosing rhyme, have you tried a scansion test to track if your rhythm/meters are on pointed your story?

Here is a link on what is scancion and "how to scansion" from Master Class.

☐For any story - is each sentence the right length for the moment? Make sure you aren’t cramming several ideas into one sentence. Avoid overly long sentences, especially at the beginning when a reader is just discovering the story – try your best not to go past 17 words in a sentence unless there is a compelling reason to do so (e.g., perhaps a long sentence is purposeful to add to the mood, energy, comedy, hysteria, or character’s personality).

☐Are you (mostly) using invisible tags over effusive dialogue tags? Would the characters

shine brighter and the story flow smoother if the tags become invisible - e.g., he said/she said/they said (these are called “invisible tags”). Most writing advice says invisible tags are the way to go – sure, you can do something different occasionally; but if you do it on every page, it might weigh down your story.

☐Are you making sure to delete stage directions that can be left to the illustrator? A stage direction can be a wasteful use of storytelling text (and you only have a 500-word budget).  An example might be something like, “Madeline opened the door, walked down the hall, and turned left.” You don’t have to say this since the illustrations will orient the reader. Delete a stage direction when it doesn’t add any meaning or music to the scene, character reveal, plot, or theme enhancements.

☐Are you making sure to hold on to a stage direction when it adds to the pace and delight of the read aloud performance (e.g., slowing down the pace and stretching it out in a dramatic moment).

☐ Are you leaving space for the illustrator to be creative?

☐ Can you delete any or all illustration notes? Trust illustrators to their craft and try not to step in their lane.

☐ Are you making sure that your story can be enjoyed and understood even by the most active child who is listening in the back of the library or classroom during story time? (Yes – it’s important to have space for the illustrator, but don’t let the pendulum swing too hard. It is also important that the text captivates, connects, and engages the listener).

☐ Are you trusting your reader rather than overwriting? Remember, a picture book is a balance of the writer, the illustrator, and the readers – each bring something to the experience.

☐Have you tracked your transitions (concept and journey stories)? Take another look and see if you are using the best transitions possible to thread moments together (bridges) that flow naturally while still shining a light on the trajectory of your story’s aboutness?

☐  Have you searched for moments when the exposition can be better delivered through dialogue instead?

☐ Is your character in agency – driving the plot and or affecting the world around them (journey story).

☐Is the aboutness present in Act I?

☐Is the aboutness present in Act II and is your break into act ii a “squeeze the toothpaste”
moment?

☐Is the aboutness present in Act III?

☐Are you leaving space for the reader’s brain to work such that you are not delivering a story that is that is too “on the nose”? 😊Discoveries and engagement are parts of reading enjoyment.

☐Did you avoid being didactic, lesson-y and/or preachy?

☐Is the emotional state at the beginning of the story different than at the end of the story (the situation or the protagonist in a journey story; the sense of wow or awe or knowledge at the end of a concept book)?

☐Have you avoided unsatisfactory repeating (this is different than poetic and purposeful

repeating)? Go line-by-line (or perhaps paragraph by paragraph) and ask yourself if the line/paragraph achieves any of the following. Does it:

·       reveal character (revealing something about character to contribute to the reasons to root for this character in terms of sympathy/ empathy/jeopardy, likability, competency or power)

·       or does it contribute to moving the plot forward in a new way that hasn’t yet happened

·       or does it appear in the right order in terms of rising action

·       or does it illuminate goals or stakes

·       or is the repeat intentional to add musicality or emphasis or a refrain

·       or does it enhance the “aboutness” or theme of the story with meaning (aboutness) and music (the best choice of words)?

☐ Do you feel satisfied by the “so what” questions like why does this story matter and why will it be meaningful to a reader and why does it matter right now?

☐Have you ended on a surprising yet inevitable note or discovered a “wow” ending or provided an ending that will keep the reader thinking about the story even after the last page has been turned?

☐ Were you able to achieve everything above in 500 words or less?

P.S. A few parting tips:

Have you read Ann Whitford Paul's book, On Writing Picture Books: The Revised and Expanded Edition? If not you should!

Have you looked for mentor texts? That helps, too.

Have you been reading and reading and reading in the genre that you'd like to be published? If yes, A+ to you!